Carl Bendix Obituary, Death – Carl Bendix of Malibu, California has unexpectedly passed away. Carl studied at Syracuse University. He was a great artist. According to an online publication; “I didn’t want to write my essay this week. In fact, I didn’t believe I was capable of writing it. I’ve had a rough day. I was in mourning. Carl Bendix, one of my closest friends in the entire world, passed away this week. Carl was introduced to many of you in an essay about his decision to relocate to Costa Rica several months ago. Carl had been a part of my life for many decades, so seeing him leave Los Angeles was difficult. But every time I called him, he expressed satisfaction with his decision. He showed me his garden and the cottage his friends had built for him. He assured me that his imaginative mind was imagining future activities we could do together.
Carl as an elderly man, sitting on his porch with his beloved dog, Bodhi, by his side. I imagined him ruling over everyone, telling stories and imparting wisdom and love. However, my vision did not come true. Carl has become one of the angels. He adored angels, so picturing him as one makes me feel better right now. I consider him to be one of many other beings I’ve loved and lost. They are my “celestial team,” as I like to refer to them. When you are grieving the loss of someone you love, you must be kind to yourself. You must also make an effort to continue. At least, that’s what I’ve learned from my own experiences over the years.
From the assassination of my uncles when I was young, to losing cousins to drug overdoses and/or accidents, to losing aunts, uncles, grandparents, and, of course, my parents, I feel like death has been a constant in my life. Several times, I’ve walked alongside grief, or it has walked alongside me. It has occasionally knocked me down. I feel like we’ve reached an agreement at times. “I’d hate to be your age and have to watch your friends die,” my daughter said this week, and many of you can understand how difficult that is. It was extremely challenging. Indeed, a friend recently sent me a photo of Carl, myself, and three other friends—Nancy, Charlotte, and Bonnie—all of whom died in recent years. The photograph moved me to tears. However, it is not only people my age who have lost friends or family members. Someone you love can die at any age.
Giving yourself time to grieve and process your emotions is the first step toward healing. So I gave myself permission to cry this week. I was gentle with myself. Carl’s stories were told to others who adored him. As they did for me, I tried to make room for them, their grief, and their stories. I also tried to rejoice because there was something to rejoice about, such as the premiere of a film my daughter Christina and I had been working on for several years. “Take Your Pills: Xanax” is a follow-up to our first Netflix film, “Take Your Pills,” which was about Adderall several years ago. This new Netflix film examines the rise of anxiety in our society and the pills that so many people take to cope.
Both mourning and joy are expressed. Lying down and carrying on. Life is full of paradoxes. I’ve discovered in my life that things I never thought could go together can. All you have to do is call them out while remaining mindful of both sets of emotions. You acknowledge them with a “and,” not a “but.” As a result, I wasn’t looking forward to writing an essay this week. Nonetheless, I was moved to write something. I’d like to write about Carl, his life, and death. I wanted to write about my daughter’s desire to create films that will spark discussions about mental health and reveal how we are all living our lives in these difficult times. Christina’s mission is to help us all let go of our assumptions about how other people deal with mental health issues. As a result, we can treat people with tenderness and compassion wherever and whenever we can. I am both inspired and humbled by her cause. It reminds me of something Father Gregory Boyle said to me last week: “People only change when they are loved and treated with tenderness.”
Tenderness. That word appears again. It keeps showing up in my life, which is good because I need to be reminded that tenderness and strength can coexist. I need to be reminded on a regular basis that grief and celebration, like life and death, can coexist. So, this week, I concentrated on my own needs while also paying attention to what was going on around me. I’m not sure about you, but this week has seen a lot of eruptions. In China, there have been historic uprisings against the country’s strict Covid policy. Protests against the hijab rule continue in Iran. World Cup riots over victories and defeats Following the former president’s dinner with anti-Semite Kanye West and a white supremacist, some Republicans, known for their timidity, erupted. When the West publicly praised Hitler, the entire world erupted. Indeed, there has been a rapid eruption of slurs and hate speech on Twitter since Elon Musk took over.
Will Smith’s first television interview since his Oscar meltdown followed. Smith blamed his recent outburst on “childhood trauma,” which was witnessed around the world. It’s difficult to predict when people will reach their breaking point or decide that enough is enough. Some people channel their rage into political change. Some people use it to make a positive difference in their lives. Others channel their frustration and anger within themselves, which is deeply concerning to any of us who have witnessed or participated in it. Without a doubt, we are living in turbulent times. That is why, according to a recent survey, we are spending less time with friends and more time alone, which should worry us all.
That information, along with a report that people no longer want to talk on the phone (see this week’s News Above the Noise section), got me thinking. The key to living a fulfilling life is to spend time with friends and invest in our relationships. According to the findings of all research. The happiest people attest to it. All wise elders around the world address it. So why are we doing the opposite? Before you blame Covid, keep in mind that the decline started before Covid. And it goes on and on. My friends, this troubling trend must be reversed. We will perish if we do not connect—if we do not communicate. It really is. The truth is that we rely on one another to survive in this world. We cannot survive unless we communicate and share our lives with one another. We can’t exist solely on text. We would perish if not for our friendships. Friends give our lives meaning. We’ve been grounded. They bring meaning and memories with them. They make us feel safe and secure, as if we belong.
When I found out that my friend Carl had died, I burst into tears. I cried for him and everyone who loved him. He had feelings for me, and I had feelings for him. I could call him whenever I wanted, and he was always happy to hear from me. Consider this: I remembered him when I read a story about how people nowadays don’t want to talk on the phone. They consider phone calls to be an interruption. That makes me laugh because I see it as a link. Someone appears to be thinking about me. I’m overjoyed when someone calls to say hello. It usually makes my day. So today, my wish for you is that you have a Carl in your life. If you don’t, you should start making friends like Carl. Because Carl is the antidote to our feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety. There is a cure right in front of you.
Finally, as I was finishing this essay, my phone rang. Another of my oldest friends’ sister called to say her brother, whom I adore, had died. “Come quickly,” she said. “He will want to see you and hear what you have to say. He’ll want you to take his hand in his.” I sobbed as I hung up the phone. Friends, life is so short. Regardless of age. It is both brief and tender. Please do not consider the next phone call an interruption. Consider it a present. Consider yourself lucky that someone is thinking about and caring about you. Take my word for it. I’d do anything to talk to Carl. I’d give anything to have a conversation with my mother or any of my recently deceased friends. I’m sure there are many people who wish they could call a lost child or partner. They would do anything to be able to dial that number. Please answer the phone before the other person is no longer available.”